英语课前演讲稿搞笑
“A叮当是一只猫”通过精心收集，向本站投稿了15篇英语课前演讲稿搞笑，下面小编为大家带来整理后的英语课前演讲稿搞笑，希望大家能够受用!
篇1：英语课前演讲稿搞笑
Ladies and Gentlemen:
It’s our great honor and deepest pleasure to welcome you, our dear friends, both old and new from all over China, all over Asia, and all over the world.
On behalf of our dedicated classmates, our distinguished teachers, foreign friends, especially our gracious host, the No.2 LongGang High School ，we greet you and encourage you to seize upon this unique opportunity to conquer English and make lifelong friends with people from every province of our wonderful country and throughout the world. By conquering English, we can help ourselves and others.
We are human beings, not animals. We know what we want to do. We know our destiny is in our hands. With hard work and determination, we can do anything we set our minds to do.
From today on we will accompany you day and night every minute on this unique journey.
We want you to open your heart.
We want you to be devoted.
We want you to be crazy.
We want you to forget about your face.
We want you to open your mouth wildly.
We want you to broaden your mind.
We want you to expand your horizons.
We want you to conquer your laziness and all your other human weaknesses.
We want you to overcome all the obstacles that hold you back.
We want to share your joy and we want to share your struggle, but most important of all, we want to share your glory and victory!
We are the future of China, the future of Asia, and the future of the world!
We can make the world a better place.
We can make a difference.
We desire to win.
We must win!
We will win, absolutely, and without any doubt!
From painfully shy children who felt terrible about ourselves, who regarded ourselves as human trash, born losers, to internationally recognized English promoters, we made it. we strongly believe that you will make it too!
Let’s do it together!
We have confidence in you!
篇2：英语课前演讲稿搞笑
Good morning/afternoon!
First thing first, I gotta say,wow,it's funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called 'stage fright'.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinson's disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,let's stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.
A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several years ago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.
A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,“Lucy ,turn your clothes on.” What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of the window.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .
The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,“put your clothing on.”The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.
That's full of it,thank you for your time!
篇3：英语课前演讲稿搞笑
Good morning,ladies and gentlemen!I am glad to stand here .I hope you can enjoy my speech and give me suggestions.My name is Jack Jones.I come from Beijing , the capital of china.It,s a beautiful place which I am pround of it.So many people like to come to visit it.There are mang places of interests in Beijing.For example: the great wall of china ,Gugong and Tiananmen etc.I am 14 years old .
My hobby is watching movies and taking photos.I have a lot of photographs about my hometown, I will let my friends have a look at them someday . I am sure you will love the beautiful scenery. I also love to sing songs .My favourite stars are Jeff Zhang 、Jacky Chen and Wanglihong. I want to be a friend of you !Do you want to be my friends?
My Pledge My Oath
I can’t stand my poor English!
I can’t stand my ten years of wasted time!
I can’t stand being looked down upon!
I can’t stand being laughed at!
I want to improve my situation!
I want to change my life!
I want to be successful!
I want to be international!
I don’t want to let my parents down!
I don’t ever want to let my country down!
Most important, I don’t want to let myself down!
I want to speak perfect English!
I want to understand all kinds of accents!
I want to write beautiful articles!
I want to read thousands of books!
I want to translate freely between Chinese and English.
I want to be the master of the world’s two most important languages: Chinese and English.
I must act at once!
I must open my mouth to practice!
I must surprise them with my excellent English!
I must realize my dream!
I must succeed!
篇4：课前英语演讲稿
the first time i saw bao was in XX, the year when thomas and uber cup was held. at that time he was playing against li zongwei, who is also a good player from malaysia. bao beat him. to tell the truth, at first the reason why i liked him was just because i thought he was pretty.*(maybe it is not a suitable word, but i think no better word can describe him, he is really pretty!) from that time, i have focused on him. then gradually, i found that he not only has good appearance, but also has a talent for badminton.
he is very tall, about 1.90 meters. he is the tallest one among all the players in the chinese badminton team. in XX, he is chosen as the flag holder stands for china in the opening ceremony in the 15th asian games held in doha. it was the first time that the badminton players were chosen to take over the special task, before which time, it belonged to the basketball players. it was a great honor. and it also proved that bao was an excellent athlete. we are all proud of him.
he began to play badminton when he was at primary school. in XX, he won his first good medal, which was significant to him, in guangzhou. because of that, he entered the chinese badminton team. as he is as old as lin dan, who is the top one in the world, he is always put into a situation wh(。)ich is not good to him. he seldom beats lin dan, so he gained a name which is called’千年老二’. in fact, his techniques are comprehensive, but he is lack of passion, the desire to win is not so strong. so he always has misplays. due to this, he seldom wins the gold medal. i think this is related to his character. he is easygoing and couth; he looks as if he will never get angry with anybody. so this affects him while he is playing badminton. in a period of time, critical voice has come towards him. he is under great pressure. he was not in the best state. but recently he cheers up again. several days ago, the chinese badminton championship XX was held in guangzhou. i went to see him on saturday. i was very excited, and i shouted loudly, hoping he could hear me. there is no doubt that he won the game. before he went away, he waved hand to us, how excited i was at that time! the next day, he beat li zongwei again and he won the man’s single gold medal. all of us are very happy. after 7 years, which could be a long time for an athlete, he proved himself again in guangzhou, which is considered as his lucky place.
篇5：课前英语演讲稿
The footsteps of the 20xx world expo is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world expo 20xx, expo 20xx shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.
World expo is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. expo set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.
World expo is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest experience enthusiasm and happiness.
Everyone to contribute for the expo, we are no exception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow, we have to do for the world expo will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking … …， hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to exciting 20xx, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world expo foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the 20xx expo, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, about our education for the world expo will contribute their efforts.
篇6：课前英语演讲稿
Good morning,dear teacher and my friends.
It’s a very intresting topic today.
I think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.
Every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life――exactly speaking, in my past 16 years.
My father always stands in the center of my life， from past till now and possibly in the future.
My family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby， small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.
But father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.
When i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.
I learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.
篇7：英语课前演讲稿
Good morning，ladies and gentlemen. I am Tracy from Guangzhou Huamei International School. I am a shiny girl. My family love me and I love then too. Do you know how help at home? Let me tell you about that.
My mom works very hard every day. She comes home very late in the evening. ()Usually my dad cooks for us. Sometimes I help my dad to wash the vegetables. Sometimes I set the table. I always wash the dishes when we finish eating. After I finish my homework I often water the flowers. I also look after my pet fish. I feed the fish before I go to bed.
I really enjoy helping my partents at home. Do you think I an a helpful girl? I think so!
Thank you!
篇8：英语课前演讲稿简短
Recently I learned from the radio an unpleasant incident about a well known singer. She is very charming with a sweet beautiful voice and very famous for singing the song.“Devotion of Love”。 Not long ago,she was invited to Zhejiang Province to give performance. The moment she was to appear on the stage,she suddenly asked for more reward. Worse still,after her request was satisfied, she didn't begin to sing at once. Instead,she took her time to count all the money piece by piece. Thus she kept the audience waiting for half an hour. So when she at last showed up and started to sing “Devotion of Love”，a man rose up from his seat and shouted at her,“You don't have any devotion of love. You are not qualified to sing this song ! ”Hearing this, the singer stopped singing and began to shout abuses with her finger pointed at the man. At this time the whole audience burst into an uproar.
How disappointed her keen listeners were when they learned this! It is the singer herself who spoiled her beautiful image in the eyes of others.
Now, I'm coming to another true story. It's about a poor, ordinary looking old woman. She was a widow without any children, living barely from hand to mouth by picking odds and ends from rubbish heaps. However,she took in more than ten homeless orphans successively and managed to bring them up. Every day she labored from morning till night. In order to earn as much money as possible to raise the children and to keep them in school,she even went to a hospital regularly to sell her blood. She got so weak for the loss of blood that she sometimes fell in a faint on her way home.
篇9：英语课前演讲稿简短
When asked why she chose to burden herself with so many children,she smiled and simply answered,“Oh,I love children and I like to have their company. ”
Though the old woman was poor materially, she was full of affection and rich in spirit. She was loved dearly by her children. She was also highly appreciated by the local government, and truly respected by people in her community.
Maybe you can't help wondering, “What makes that ordinary woman so extraordinary?” It is nothing else but her inner beauty, her true devotion of love without any thought of rewarding. What a sharp contrast there is between the great woman and the selfish singer.
So,to answer the question “What is real beauty?”,I declare definitely,it is the beauty lying in one's heart of hearts and embodied in his actions and deeds,that is,the inner heauty!
篇10：课前英语演讲稿
This summer, I was supposed to go to my favorite camp. But instead, I decided to go to the John Kerry office every day. Kids can really help!
On KidsforKerry.org, we have an interactive presidential quiz. There are 270 questions for the electoral votes John Kerry will win. Plus, 25 questions to make up for Florida from the last election.
Our next goal is to have a petition for “National No Name-Calling Day,” a day that the candidates don't say anything negative about one another. When our Vice President had a disagreement with a Democratic senator, he used a REALLY BAD word.
If I said that -- If I said that word, I would be put in a “time-out.”
I think he should be put in a time-out.
The last time I saw John Kerry, he grabbed my arm and said, “See you at the convention.” And here I am!
What will be even more amazing will be the inauguration in January, when we have a new President, knowing that kids have made a difference in this election.
To summarize, Teresa Heinz Kerry: Inspirational, amazing!
John Kerry: American hero, next President.
Kids need-Kids need positive-Kids need positive role models in politics. And our Vice President deserves a long time-out.
Kids-Kids, this is about our futures. Make sure all adults you know get out and vote.
We can have a voice today!
Thank you!
篇11：课前英语演讲稿
课前英语演讲稿
Most people would like to be popular with others, but not everyone can achieve this goal. What is the secret to popularity? In fact, it is very simple. The first step is to improve our appearance. We should always make sure that we stay in good shape and dress well.
When we are healthy and well-groomed, we will not only look better but also feel better. In addition, we should smile and appear friendly. After all, our facial expression is an important part of our appearance. If we can do this, people will be attracted to our good looks and impressed by our confidence.
Another important step is developing more consideration for others. We should always put others first and place their interests before our own. It's also important to be good listeners; in this way people will feel comfortable enough to confide in us. However, no matter what we do, we must not gossip.
Above all, we must remember to be ourselves, not phonies. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we earn their respect. If we can do all of the above, I am sure popularity will come our way.
篇12：英语课前演讲稿
Everyone is attracted by beauty and beauty is powerful。 but what is true beauty？ perhaps you can get the answer from the following story。
This morning i went to the market to buy some vegetables with my parents。 on the way we all highly praised a young man in western―style clothes and leather shoes who was riding by。 but he rode so fast that he knocked an old lady down carelessly instead of stopping， he pretended not to see this and rode away quickly。 we were all very angry with the young man。 to our happiness， a girl in plain dress ran forward at once， helped the lady up and took her home。 we all praised the girl。
From this we know we cannot judge a person by his appearance。 a person who is dressed beautifully may not have a beautiful soul。 only a person who has a beautiful soul is really beautiful。
人人都被美和美所吸引，是有力量的。但什么是真正的美？也许你可以从下面的故事得到答案。
今天早上我去市场买了一些蔬菜和我的父母。路上我们都高度赞扬了一名年轻男子西装革履的骑着。但他骑得太快了，他撞倒一个老太太，而不是停下来，他假装没有看到这个，很快就骑走了。我们都很生这个年轻人的气。为了我们的幸福，一个穿着朴素的女孩立刻跑上前，帮助那位女士走了过来，把她带回家了。我们都表扬了那个女孩。
从这个我们知道，我们不能判断一个人的外表。一个穿着漂亮的人可能没有一个美丽的灵魂。只有拥有一个美丽灵魂的人才是真正的美丽。
篇13：英语课前演讲稿
everyone has their own dreams, i am the same. but my dream is not a lawyer, not a doctor, not actors, not even an industry.
perhaps my dream big people will find it ridiculous, but this has been my pursuit! my dream is to want to have a folk life! i want it to become a beautiful painting, it is not only sharp colors, but also the colors are bleak, i do not rule out the painting is part of the black, but i will treasure these bleak colors!
not yet, how about, a colorful painting, if not bleak, add color, how can it more prominent american? life is like painting, painting the bright red color represents life beautiful happy moments. painting a bleak color represents life difficult, unpleasant time. you may find a flat with a beautiful road is not very good yet, but i do not think it will.
if a person lives flat then what is the point? life is only a short few decades, i want it to go finally, each memory is a solid.
篇14：英语课前演讲稿
as everyone knows, people can get much information through the internet. meanwhile, people are also clearly aware of its disadvantages, but some children don’t realize they sometimes make friends with bad people online.
in my opinion, people can use the internet to make friends, download useful materials and go shopping online. it’s really very helpful. however, there are also many disadvantages about the internet. if you can’t use it correctly, it may be harmful to you. in junior middle school, i was once crazy about playing online games and i couldn’t control myself. as a result, my study results were getting from bad to worse. besides, if you believe whatever your friends say online, you will be cheated by them some day, i think.
as a student, we should spend more time on studying and less time on the internet. of course, if we can control our time of surfing the internet, we surely can use it after school.
篇15：英语课前英语演讲稿
THE first time I saw Bao was in 2005, the year when Thomas and Uber Cup was held.
At that time he was playing against Li zongwei, who is also a good player from Malaysia.
Bao beat him.
To tell the truth, at first the reason why I liked him was just because I thought he was pretty.
*(maybe it is not a suitable word, but I think no better word can describe him, he is really pretty!) From that time, I have focused on him.
Then gradually, I found that he not only has good appearance, but also has a talent for badminton.
He is very tall, about 1.
90 meters.
He is the tallest one among all the players in the Chinese Badminton Team.
In 2006, he is chosen as the flag holder stands for China in the opening ceremony in the 15th Asian Games held in Doha.
It was the first time that the badminton players were chosen to take over the special task, before which time, it belonged to the basketball players.
It was a great honor.
And it also proved that Bao was an excellent athlete.
We are all proud of him.
He began to play badminton when he was at primary school.
In 2000, he won his first good medal, which was significant to him, in Guangzhou.
Because of that, he entered the Chinese Badminton Team.
As he is as old as Lin dan, who is the top one in the world, he is always put into a situation which is not good to him.
He seldom beats Lin dan, so he gained a name which is called’千年老二’.
In fact, his techniques are comprehensive, but he is lack of passion, the desire to win is not so strong.
So he always has misplays.
Due to this, he seldom wins the gold medal.
I think this is related to his character.
He is easygoing and couth; he looks as if he will never get angry with anybody.
So this affects him while he is playing badminton.
In a period of time, critical voice has come towards him.
He is under great pressure.
He was not in the best state.
But recently he cheers up again.
Several days ago, the Chinese Badminton Championship 2007 was held in Guangzhou.
I went to see him on Saturday.
I was very excited, and I shouted loudly, hoping he could hear me.
There is no doubt that he won the game.
Before he went away, he waved hand to us, how excited I was at that time! The next day, he beat Li zongwei again and he won the man’s single gold medal.
All of us are very happy.
After 7 years, which could be a long time for an athlete, he proved himself again in Guangzhou, which is considered as his lucky place.
I think this will be the energy of his advancing.
And I hope he can keep this fighting will and win the gold medal in the 29th Olympic Games held in Beijing!
Best wishes!
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